I am proud of my achievements, but I would never be who I am today without my failures. Whether big or trivial, failures also shape my character, and however painful they might be, I am grateful for experiencing them. I see them as teachers and sources of motivation, not as excuses.
I don’t even plan to stop failing, first because it is impossible, and second because that would mean living without trying, experimenting, and risking, which translates to a life without learning. In my opinion, this is not only a boring life but a life not worth living. To be completely open, I even hope to make more mistakes because as Thomas J. Watson, the former CEO of IBM, has put it, “The only way to increase your success rate, is to double your failure rate”.
The complete list of failures and foolish actions I have made would require a space that my Internet service provider cannot accommodate. Therefore, below is just a selection of them:
- Professional failures: Participating in unsuccessful development projects: At the final, closing conferences of development projects, we often highlight how successful the project we implemented was, the significant impact it achieved, etc. However, we seldom discuss the issues we were unable to address successfully. I admit I have not been satisfied with results of some of my workshops as well. I also have contributed to the organizational development of institutions and the strengthening of capacities for structures that no longer exist. While I am aware that failures are part of the evolutionary development process, I still don’t feel comfortable about it
- The failure of my marriage: I know that being happily divorced is better than being unhappily married and I have maintained a great bond with my children and have never stopped being a devoted father. However, as someone who has always envisioned himself as a family person, I still view my inability to preserve the family as a failure.
- Multiple failed attempts at driving exams: I failed the driving exam ten times. Yes, you read that correctly: 10 times. I have never heard of anyone managing to get their driving license on the eleventh try, and for a long period, I was so ashamed of it that I would never dare to talk about it. However, today, I am proud of my perseverance and overcoming my fear that could have easily blocked me and prevented me from becoming an experienced driver. Despite this, I still often lose my way, even with the support of GPS and other technology
- Abandoning my football career: As a very talented young footballer, I joined the training camp of our best national club at the age of 15. After losing my place in the first team to a weaker player, who was heavily supported by his wealthy father, I never appeared at the training again. At that time, I was proud of my principles and my stance against injustice, until I realized that it was a part of my immaturity. The person who probably benefited the most from that decision is Maradona, as it’s likely that nobody would talk about him if I hadn’t given up football so early. 😉”
- Act of irresponsibility: My car engine stalled, and the vehicle completely died because I didn’t pay attention to the car’s warning light indicator signaling that there was not enough oil in the engine. The car died due to my sheer negligence. I have always prided myself on not being a slave to material things, but this was too much. It was extreme irresponsibility, so no excuses.
- Act of chronic irresponsibility: Here’s another example that I am highlighting, hoping that self-shaming publicly will pressure me to be more responsible in the future. On my trip to Kosovo, I suddenly heard a strange sound coming from my car roof. In less than a second, I noticed in my rearview mirror that my cargo box had flown away. Fortunately, nobody was killed, except for my sense of responsibility. Since then, I avoid driving behind a car with cargo boxes, because you never know what kind of fool is driving it. 😊
- Living with my parents up to age 30: This is not a failure, but it’s something that I would definitely not choose to do again in my next life. Even though I was financially capable of moving out of my parents’ house, I followed their advice to stay together to share costs and save money for later. I’ve been always surrounded by love, and I am grateful to my parents. However, I am still convinced that living independently is a much healthier option for a young person.
- Losing all earnings: At 22, I naively lost almost all of my earnings from my first business by lending them to a crook. Instead of purchasing the convertible Opel Astra I had been dreaming about, I unwittingly invested in a valuable yet expensive life lesson.